In America we have an infatuation with separating cause and effect, action and consequence, which is not always bad. The risk you run is that when people get used to doing an action and having no consequences follow, there’s no longer a reason to do, or to refrain from doing the action. Sex is everywhere. And sex makes babies. Except now we have become good enough at reprogramming science that sex mostly doesn’t make babies anymore. We have birth control, we have contraceptives, we have a very in depth knowledge of the reproductive cycle. The idea of sex not creating babies is so ingrained in our minds that we have created words to convey our thinking: family planning, unplanned pregnancy, surprise babies. These words should be red flags. While babies are not the only reason sex is good, procreation is the reason sex exists. When we live a contracepting life-style we more easily slip into thinking that we can play God. When we fail, our culture offers the solution of abortion.
Link to Abortion
The link between a contracepting mindset and abortion is widely known and admitted even by abortion advocates. The 1973 SCOTUS decision Roe Vs Wade (which legalized abortion in all 50 US states in all 3 trimesters) has been upheld based on the idea that women rely on abortion when contraception fails. If abortion rights are chisled into stone for people who are dependent on contraception, then it would follow that those who are contracepting should be careful of that way of life which has in part, caused the solidification of abortion rights.
Let’s chase the logic. When a couple is engaging in sexual intimacy and using a contraceptive method there’s a certain mindset that exists. It sounds something like this: “We want to be able to have sex but we don’t want it to make babies. Because sex makes babies, we have to put a mechanism in place that allows us to have the cause with out the effect.” There is a whole spectrum of reasons behind why a couple might think this way. And many of them are valid reasons for not wanting to create children at the moment. On the other hand, many of the reasons are selfish and show a mistrust of God. As humans with a fallen nature and a sinful, limited will, we tend to have the second kind of reason as motivation.
Unwanted Pregnancy
So a couple who is contracepting because they don’t want to create new life at this time in their lives depend on contraception. Sounds like a fine plan until you look at the failure rate of contraceptives. Hormonal birth control is marketed as the silver bullet to inconvenient pregnancies (read: children) and has a 7% failure rate. In real life that means of 100 women dosing themselves with extra hormones to fool their reproductive systems, 7 of them will still conceive a child. Some of those women will be glad when they see the second line appear on the test but for those who are not, what is their next thought? Here is where we see the road darken. It is much easier to end up in an abortion clinic when the baby was never supposed to be there in the first place. Today, an unplanned pregnancy is seen as an unwanted pregnancy and an unwanted pregnancy should be aborted. The American culture says a fetus’ value is based on whether or not Mom wants it. In the case of a contraception mishap then, that human has no value and is easily aborted.
Even if we don’t abort! What are we saying when we use contraception? We are taking a system that is healthy and working as designed and purposefully disabling it. Oftentimes at the expense of the health of the woman and the relationship. Sex is an act that says “I give myself to you completely and exculsively.” God uses sex for creation and intends it to be between two polar and complimentary mates. Introduce contraceptives and the wording becomes more like, “I give myself to you, but not completely because I am not open to the possibility of God’s creative work through us as a pair.” Either God creates intentionally or He doesn’t. Admitting that He does everything intentionally means we have to come to grips with the fact that the Devil is God’s Devil and the things he does are only with God’s permission. That can be a rough path but where you end up is worth the journey. An intentional, all-powerful, loving God gives good gifts and is worthy of our trust.
God’s Will
How, though, do we reconcile our ability to learn and change our circumstances? Medicine changes how our bodies work and is good. God made us capable of learning how our reproductive systems work and capable of manipulating the world to achieve things otherwise not possible. Couples do have the responsibility to care for the children they create and that includes decisions as to the timing of conception. How do we stay within the bounds of God’s will for us? The easy answer is, we don’t. As fallen humans we can’t do God’s will, nor do we want to. And there is forgiveness in Christ for our constant short-coming. As redeemed people, animated by the Holy Spirit, we strive for harmony with His design and will, not against them.
There is forgiveness in Christ for our constant short-coming. As redeemed people, animated by the Holy Spirit, we strive for harmony with His design and will, not against them.
If we want to delay pregnancy for a time and yet still enjoy the other benefits of sexual intimacy in our marriages, why not look at the way the reproductive cycle flows and work within it? Women are only fertile 3-5 days each cycle which means sex on any of the other days would not result in a pregnancy and avoiding pregnancy would be fairly simple. The trick is knowing which days those are. Thankfully, God has provided some clear markers to let us know – her resting temperature, cervical mucus quantity and consistency, and cervix position. Tracking these things to determine periods of fertility (and infertility) is called the Sympto-Thermal or Fertility Awareness Method of Natural Family Planning (NFP).
Can people who are using NFP still think in a way that could lead to devaluing a child and abortion? Of course but while using NFP we are more often reminded that we are not God, which is where all the trouble stems from in the first place. You rely on mutual self-giving and respect instead of on man-made drugs that disrupt or cripple a healthy system. It also encourages conversations between husband and wife each month as to the blessings of children and the blessings of intimacy during the woman’s most fertile times.
In a fallen world filled with fallen people, even our best efforts are misguided and badly executed. Thanks be to God that we have forgiveness and life eternal secured in Christ, giving us the freedom to live as well as we can and as closely to His design as possible.
Are you hurting from an abortion decision? Text HELPLINE to 313131 or call 1-800-712-4357
Budziszweski, J. “”The Meaning of Sexual Differences.” In On The Meaning of Sex. Wilmington: ISI Books, 2012. 41.
Schuermann, Katie. “Do I Have Any Control?” In He Remembers The Barren. Fort Wayne: Emmanuel Press, 2017.